A new brand of justice

– Social justice may contain more injustices than we think.

A little known issue has been in my attention for some time, but I can no longer just stand around as some passive bystander – and I say with confidence that anyone possessing a heart would do the same.

There are these strange people that look just like you and me in the flesh, but at the bone, they are something carcinogenic – no, LETHAL in nature. All they have to do is open the trap we commonly refer to as the mouth and all people within a ten foot radius are sucked in. There is no saving from their words; solitude can only be found by rhythmically bobbing your head and adding in anything among the variations of “Yes”, “I know, right?”, and “OMG so true” every five minutes.

They refer to themselves as Social Justice Warriors, but we’ll refer to them as SJWs to educate you as fast as possible. In their natural habitats, they can be found in packs of other SJWs or sticking to weaker-minded groupies like magnets. The goal of the SJW is to dispel the social injustices and prejudices of the world, which is actually a great idea in theory, but their execution is despicable. Ever heard of fighting fire with fire? It doesn’t work.

To save the oppressed – which could range from womankind to an obscure species of penguin – the SJW relies on a variety of methods. These usually include biased blog posts, attacking those who do not share their views (ironic much?), and on rarer occasions, peaceful protesting and petitioning. The success of a SJW can be measured in their self-dubbed unit of measurement, haterz, or the number of people who disagree or express any feeling that isn’t overwhelmingly positive.

No, I haven’t checked any of these claims to see if they’re actually true, but if that doesn’t stop you from writing a research paper for History, then it shouldn’t stop you from caring about this GRAVELY IMPORTANT MATTER.